Originally published on the blog I started for my bookkeeping biz, but in my heart, this post belongs here at My Remembering Place! So here it is. 🙂
I’m in the Borders Cafe, sharing solitude with more than a dozen people. We’re all sitting, alone and silent, yet together in this space.
Some people read, others write or type. We’re all in this room, but perhaps some of us are also in a faraway place inside our heads.
Lately I’ve been spending a lot of time in my head. And, I’m not really enjoying it.
So my mind and I have made a new arrangement. Every day for an hour or two, at a minimum, I will create the space I need to write.
With a pen on paper.
(Ahhh, and as I type this up from my handwritten journal entry on 7/23, I am reminded of why I so needed to bring Rose, my new MacBook, into my life last night.)
***
In our intense pursuit of happiness it is astonishingly common for us to run right by our original destination.
Getting back to that place, has been, for me, an incredible experience… An experience that has taught me volumes of unwritten lessons.
One of the most important discoveries for me has been the realization and recognition of a significant need for alone time.
As things have become more stable in my walkabout everyday life, I’ve actually found the newly available time to be a source of confusion and distress.
At first I didn’t even realize that’s what was throwing me so off kilter.
Now that I’m aware, I’m creating a plan for living with my happiness in my “free time.”
1. Release the thought concept that every activity needs to be linked to making money.
2. Grant myself permission to spend time focusing on not only priorities that involve others, but also on solo activities that mean a lot to me.
3. Connect less with people outside of my home and more with the people in it.
Remembering that my family loves me and wants to spend time with me has been an unfolding process.
After spending more than two years in an adrenaline surging environment with especially charged emotions surrounding money, I’m gradually releasing my fears around needing to work all the time.
And prioritizing my family and spending time with them has been incredibly more challenging than I ever imagined it could be.
Putting my love of reading and writing at the forefront of my day feels like it is going to be a liberating process. (I can literally FEEL myself healing as I write.)
When we moved I released all physical objects that did not serve my dream vision of a simple and contented existence.
It is now time to infuse my time with a blend of the things that make my life not only worth living, but a life I never dreamed I’d be able to live.
So in an effort to support myself along the next phase of my personal journey, I am committing to a frequent writing process on my blog (soon to be located on my newish biz domain, JessRS.com you’re here reading it!).
It’s going to be my place to share a slice of my life with you.
“Submit to a daily practice.
Your loyalty to that
is a ring on the door.
Keep knocking, and the joy inside
will eventually open a window
and look to see who’s there.”
– Rumi
***
(Originally handwritten on 7/8/09 and typed up on 7/23/09, also while in the Borders Cafe.)